You Can Shove Your Yorkshire Puddings Up Your Arse!

Boston United vs FC Halifax Town

Apparently Boston played much better against Harrogate, probably something to do with me not going.  Reports told of a much improved defence, Alan White coming back once again to partner Tom Ward in the centre of the defence in place of the extremely fragile Parker and Austin combination.  Sleath was also back in the middle of the park and Boston apparently looked a lot brighter.  The consistency of this improvement would be tested a few days later on Bank Holiday Monday against FC Halifax Town.

An unchanged Pilgrims line-up took to the field against opponents with similar experience of financial woes.  Halifax took the easy option of "letting" their club die and starting again, an option not afforded to United.  As such Halifax are something of an enigma, they are a relatively big club recovering up through the leagues, whether this means they'll do well this season is anybodies guess.  They, like Boston have started slowly and  are looking to build up a run of form that will put them in the mix (and other assorted footballing clichés) at the end of the season.

Nice to see an away following for once!

One thing Halifax can guarantee is a good away following.  As such they were given the Town End and they didn't disappoint, bringing more fans than the efforts of the rest of the league combined (probably).  This set the stage for the best atmosphere at York St since, well, the play-offs last season.  Stones started in his usual clumsy, inactive fashion until he took a blow to the head.  The blow seemed to spark some life into non-leagues very own Andy Carroll and his performance was much improved.  Maybe we could employ the fitness coach to knock Stones round the head with a bat; it'd be more useful than what he is currently doing, whatever that is.

Boston were playing the better football and were much, much improved from the Nuneaton game.  The sides traded long range shots before United, playing a neat passing game, started to apply pressure.  Newsham went close following some good work by Holsgrove.  Semple was next to supply for the Pilgrims and Stones, actually winning a header, had his effort blocked on the line.  Boston had the best of the first half but couldn't create the chances to take advantage of their superiority.

Boston apply some pressure.

Halifax came out the stronger in the second-period and created a few chances which Bastock kept out comfortably.  They should've scored from a corner but couldn't hit the target following a free header.  United were under pressure and dropping a little deep but still looked reasonably solid at the back.  White was playing well supported by man of the match contender Ward; Ward even had a shot on target as he headed down from a corner.  Set pieces were the only chances that Boston seemed to be able to create, presumably as they resulted in the opportunity for the front-men to get into position without having to be mobile in any significant way, shape or form.  Suarez was brought on to replace Stones who was in serious risk of being sent off for leading with his elbows but it was a like for like substitution and Suarez couldn't make an impact either as the game died out.

Halifax could have snatched all three points right at the death.  Holsgrove contributing for the first time in the second half by failing to track his runner enabled a free back-post header to fly narrowly over.  A point a piece was about right in the end.  United's attacking line up was still woefully immobile and lacking in ideas, nothing a pacey striker couldn't fix though.  The midfield looked to have a much better balance and the defence actually looked solid for once; it's progress.

Next up: Bishop's Stortford away.

First Rant of the Season and it's Only September

Nuneaton TOWN vs Boston United

I've had a few days to figure out what to write about this game and I've still got nothing.  I couldn't be bothered to go in the morning, afternoon or even when I was on the bus, probably shouldn't have bothered looking back.  Last year's fellow play-off contenders Nuneaton had been in worse form than Boston at the start of the season, win-less and with several players missing.  United were also down a couple of players meaning we started with Micky Stones up front.  That's right, ex-Lincolnshire League Micky Stones as a starting striker in the Conference North.  What's wrong with that?  It's not like the Lincolnshire League is a (unofficial) level below the United Counties League or anything.

Boston had a fair few chances but sadly they mostly fell to Stones who, when he did contrive to move in time, either fluffed his lines or got caught off-side by much, much quicker defenders.  Newsham and Milnes both missed the odd chance as well.  The Nuneaton players were a couple of yards quicker than the United players all over the pitch and it was astutely pointed out that Millson looked like he'd spent the entire game chasing the ball around like a school kid.

Boston "defend" a free-kick.

It wasn't a surprise then when the goal came from one of the numerous hospital balls played by the Pilgrims on the night.  Holsgrove (who should never, ever be allowed in the United half ever again; in fact he should be forced to start the game on the sidelines and then run directly into the opposition half) played the ball to the Nuneaton winger who squared for Smith to knock it past Bastock.  The 150 or so United fans who'd travelled and suffered the indignity of sharing 20 of the tinpot club's programmes between them sang defiantly throughout the half-time break to no avail; the players returned from their half-time hair-dryer treatment to serve up the expectant fans some more comedy defending well worthy of the "Keystone cops" label.

Free-headers were ten-a-penny in the United box and it took Nuneaton six minutes to power one home, Burns the man who managed to beat the wholly absent United defenders.  The inability to challenge for anything in the air was at least consistent throughout the team then.  Semple came on to replace Holsgrove who had been very effectively marked out of the game and, combined with the useful Fairclough, started to pressure the Nuneaton back line for the first time all night.

Chaos in the United box.

Jason Lee threw himself into the action to try and actually win something up front; not in place of Stones though, no, Lee replaced Milnes leaving the light midfield a little bit lighter.  The contrast with Stones was stark, Lee actually moved, jumped and won headers!  Stones did contribute by managing to expertly miss his third and fourth good chances of the game; one he used sublime Lincolnshire League skill to tamely pass into the 'keepers arms when it would've been easier to score, the other he planted the other firmly over the bar.  With five minutes to go "the silent captain" Jelleyman finally encouraged the team for the first time but Nuneaton were superior by far and could have scored two or three easy second half chances to put the game well and truly beyond United.

It wouldn't be fair to blame it all on Stones and Millson.  Other than Fairclough, Lee and Semple the players looked either tired or disinterested.  If they're tired then I've no idea what the point of the fitness coach is and if they aren't then it means this is the most disinterested and passionless team I have seen in a United shirt since Bloomer was captain and the Pilgrims came 90 minutes from being a Unibond division one south club.  How many go down from this league?

Next up: Halifax at York St for me.

Missing: One Midfield.

Boston United vs Vauxhall Motors

After the slight disappointment of not collecting all three points in the first home game of the season there was a quick chance of redemption as Vauxhall Motors visited York St a few days later.  Good, a chance to build on the attacking performance and put the defensive frailties to bed.  Even better that it was against a reportedly very average Vauxhall side, time to get back on the horse before the trip to a considerably better Nuneaton side in midweek.  The promising Fairclough started for the injured Canoville while the managers brought in Semple for Millson as they switched it to a 4-4-2.

Holsgrove nailed a 30 yarder in the first minute or so, drawing an excellent save from the portly Motors 'keeper and after that it all went a bit wrong.  The "very average" side, who had lost their first two games 2-0 to Gloucester and Worcester, were playing some nice stuff.  Their defence looked solid and their midfield lively.  Bastock had to make the odd save as the poor finishing was Boston's only saviour.  United weren't saved for long though as on 19 minutes Motors' centre-back Jackson converted a headed opportunity.  The defence were no-where near him and the communication in the back-line was conspicuous by it's absence.  Jelleyman repeatedly being ignored by Parker at centre-back, not great from the captain.

Percy the Pilgrim Penguin. Not sure how that is relevant to Boston...

With Hall holding deep and Semple and Holsgrove drifting in and out of the game on the wings the entire of the centre of the park was being held by Milnes, on his own.  Consequently every time United got hold of the ball it ended up being pumped long straight back to Vauxhall.  Newsham and Dudfield won the their fair share of the long balls but there was no support following up and possession was lost repeatedly.  This was even more apparent in the defence.  On several occasions Fairclough did well to head clear and then caught stick for there being no-one following his clearance up.

Not content with a penguin,
we also have an elephant.

It was Vauxhall who were looking more likely to score again and probably would have done if they weren't so inept in the final third.  In fact Boston's only threat in the first half came from Newsham who had one high and one wide.  The Pilgrims must have received a rocket from the gaffers at half time and their second half performance reflected that.  Following an early scare in the second period, Motors' striker McGivern continued his wayward finishing by slamming into the side netting when he probably should've done better, United started to play a bit.

Semple and Holsgrove drifted back into the game and started to trouble the defence, both having shots blocked.  Fairclough was also causing problems with some enterprising runs from right back.  The Vauxhall 'keeper was doing well to keep United at bay and it was starting to look like one of those days.  Vauxhall were still playing well and the game was fairly even until Millson replaced Semple and United reverted to 4-3-3.  This resulted in Milnes getting a bit of support in the middle and Boston being able to pass it around on the floor a bit instead of lumping it forward at every opportunity.

The chances were starting to build up for Boston, Austin once again failing to head a ball in anything like the right direction was followed by repeated goal line clearances as Parker and Dudfield were both denied.  The Pilgrims were going for broke and switched to a 3-3-4 as Austin was pushed up front to add a "goal threat"; we could only hope he'd inadvertently clear the ball from just inside the opposition area and it'd fly in by mistake.  Pushing forward was Boston's undoing, a horrendous mix up between Jelleyman and Milnes resulted from a lack of communication and general fannying about.  This, combined with what seemed a blatant handball that the official somehow contrived to miss, left Mahon free to square to Wilson who placed the ball neatly past a flailing Bastock.

Vauxhall slow the game down.

Five minutes left for United to rescue something from 2-0 down.  Vauxhall were being smart and wasting a little time, in fact their 'keeper had been booked for wasting time earlier; he was no-where near as bad as the Histon 'keeper last time out.  Boston were attacking when they had the ball but seemed to pass it around neatly on the floor before running out of ideas and spraying it into a virtually empty box.  This tactic did eventually pay off as a hopeful cross from Holsgrove was headed over his own 'keeper by Hannigan.  While it worked this time I fear that relying on own-goals may not be a tactic for the season.

Fair play to Vauxhall, they were definitely one goal better than United today.  There was a little disorder after the final whistle.  The Vauxhall 'keeper appeared to have incited the crowd to have a go at him at full time.  I was fully prepared to have a go at the shot stopper, who had otherwise played superbly, until I learned that some of the children in the front row of the Town End had been spitting on him when he went to collect his bottle.  Disgusting behaviour.

Next up: Boston travel to Nuneaton, I hope we're better then than we were today!

All The Time In The World.

Boston United vs Histon

My first Boston game of the season proper and it's an evening match at York St.  There is something a bit special about evening football below the floodlights; a different sort of atmosphere.  It all seemed a bit pre-season to begin with; a swift beer in the Pilgrim Lounge with the regulars, a moan about the price of the admittedly excellent programme which has gone up for what seems like the first time in living memory (£3, how dare they?), quiet whispers about how rubbish we were at Workington but that three points are three points...

Dusk at York St.

Then it's on to the turnstiles for what seems like the first time in an age, despite the fact it was only about two weeks ago, tearing out a crisp new piece of paper from the season ticket.  While the ground hasn't really changed, although it was hardly likely to inside of two weeks, the team has.  Injuries keeping Joachim and Suarez out and confining Semple to the bench while Lawrie Dudfield makes a very welcome return to the squad and the starting line up.  The opposition has too, Histon were one of the league new boys having been relegated from the Conference the previous season.

The game gets under way.

The game started and the Pilgrims were well on top for all of three minutes before Histon went in front.  Calamity at the back allowed Histon's star striker, Risa, to nonchalantly wander through the defence and square to a totally unmarked Holman who smashed the ball past Bastock from a few yards.  The United defence were in disarray and the crowd were starting to get a little restless already.  It was almost like the team had never defended and/or played football before.

Going forward the Pilgrims looked dangerous and chances came and went.  Holsgrove's excellent attacking play was causing the Histon defence problems and winning possession for United in dangerous areas.  In spite of Holsgrove's menace it was swift footwork from Austin who provided the Pilgrims' first real chance by playing in Parker, only for the Histon 'keeper to save from close range.  The 'keeper used the opportunity in the same way he used every opportunity during the match, to time waste.  The degree of time wasting even at this early stage was bizarre, especially as Histon looked like they could score with every attack!  In spite of all this Boston were still having the better of the possession,  Newsham and Dudfield conspired to play in Milson and only a superb last ditch challenge could dispossess the United midfielder.  It was a well timed challenge as well, not, as someone close to me insisted on pointing out, a stonewall penalty!

Just as the Pilgrims seemed to be steadying the ship at the back Canoville sustained an injury and Fairclough was thrown on as a replacement.  This potentially could have caused problems but Fairclough performed admirably and Boston really began to assert their dominance over the game.  Holsgrove was yet again at the centre of the attacking play for the Pilgrims providing flair and pace to the attack.  However, it was Dudfield who set up the equaliser, nodding the ball through for Newsham who calmly dinked the ball high into the net with 26 minutes gone.

Histon were reduced to playing on the break with long balls being banged over the top which were either snuffed out by the defence or blasted well wide.  The Pilgrims, meanwhile, were playing some really neat football and Newsham was unlucky to see a shot tipped just over the bar.  Holsgrove went clean through on goal, running past a couple of Histon defenders on the way, only to be flagged off-side; balance was restored as the half-time whistle went just as Histon looked to break.

Histon's 'keeper: the world's biggest time waster?

It was more of the same after the break with Dudfield and Milnes both being denied by the Histon shot stopper.  Boston weren't shy of shooting from distance, a belter from Fairclough arrowed just wide while Hall had several efforts fly either high, wide or both.  After this the game slowly degenerated into a midfield scrap combined with a painful amount of time wasting from the Histon 'keeper; exemplified when the 'keeper tried to take the ball off Milnes' boot by going through his legs, resulting in handbags.

Holsgrove did manage to provide one moment of magic to brighten an otherwise frustrating second half.  Despite falling over he still managed to flick a back-head onto the Histon left-back and out for a Boston throw.  The man is class, even on his arse!  Dudfield was withdrawn from the action having put in a sublime shift, to be replaced by Semple.  Semple could've brightened the Boston attacking line up, if the other United players had been able to see him in the acres of space out on the right wing!  As it was he seemed to be wearing some sort of magic camouflage and received barely any service during the remaining 15 mins.

It was then that Bastock decided that he fancied being a full-back again, perhaps inspired by memories of the Boston Town friendly.  He sprinted out of goal to deal with a situation which was well under control and nearly took the centre-back out in the process.  As it was the ball was scraped clear by Parker, Bastock was left to dust himself off and Risa was in a heap in "agony".  Whilst he got away with it this time, this could've easily cost United dearly.  The remainder of the game saw United pressing hard for a winner with all but Bastock in the Histon half.  The away defence stood strong through luck and judgement in equal measure;  leaving the Pilgrims to settle for a point and a chuckle as news of a heavy defeat for Grimsby drifted through the crowd.  Can we still get compensation if Scott and Hurst are sacked?

Next up: Vauxhall Motors visit York St.

Workington IS A Long Way...

Newport Pagnell Town vs Boston Town

The teams shake hands in Newport's picturesque ground.

... So I went elsewhere.  A 704 mile round trip to Workington for the second year running wasn't very attractive, despite the Pilgrims having beaten Workington eight time in a row.  It just so happened that the other team from Boston were playing 10 miles from my house, at Newport Pagnell Town.  With all the ex-Pilgrims in the line-up it'd be almost like watching United, almost.

Cricket: in case the game is rubbish.

Newport's Willen Road ground is a multi-purpose sports site and the cricket going on adjacent to the pitch would provide some entertainment in the unlikely situation that the football proved to be overly dull.  The club house was pleasant enough, a cosy bar area with Sky alongside a neat function room providing more than enough room to spread out.  The beer was reasonably priced but the food consisted of scant offerings, filled baps and peanuts being the only available sustenance.  Moving into the ground itself I ended up chatting to another "sort-of-Town-fan", he was a Northampton fan but follows the Poachers when Northampton are away, he pointed out the other ten or so Town fans in the "crowd" of around 100.

Newport Pagnell scored over 100 goals last season in the process of finishing third in the league behind big spending St Neots and King's Lynn and they were soon pressuring the Poachers.  For the first 15 minutes of the game Pagnell's physically bigger players, particularly their number eight, were the target as balls were thrown into the box.  The Poachers were lucky to escape as a belting shot came in from a completely unmarked Pagnell player on the edge of the box.  Boston dealt with the threat well though and with Michael Wood playing a key role in defence they slowly began to limit the Pagnell chances.  However, Pagnell were still in control of the game and threatened despite the lack of clear chances.  This all changed 34 minutes in when ex-Pilgrim Danny Matson pounced on a loose ball 20 yards out and scuffed a low shot home against the run of play.  Buoyed by the goal the Poachers started to play some nice stuff and were well on top of the game as the half-time whistle went.

Newport's giants pile on the pressure.

Newport came flying at Town in the second half, literally.  A strong side, Newport weren't afraid of the tackle and the Poachers players started to take a battering as they looked to play it around their bigger opponents.  Hard tackling drew the yellow card out of the ref's pocket on more than one occasion and there were times when the guilty party were lucky that the card wasn't red.  Boston, looking to rise above this, went 2-0 up on 65 minutes.  Another ex-Pilgrim, Shane Clancy, ran at the lumbering Pagnell back-line before letting fly with an effort which deflected and nestled neatly into the bottom corner.

A Boston cross-come-shot from a very narrow angle thudded against the inside of the Pagnell post and flew back out as the Poachers searched to finish the home team off.  Pagnell responded well in the middle of the park but were unable to fashion any clear chances up front.  Frustration got the better of one or two of the Newport players, the right back in particular was lucky to remain on the pitch.  The ball having gone out of play for a throw in was claimed by Matson and the Pagnell right-back, the right-back got there first and threw the ball into Matson's face.  The ref clearly having missed all this dismissed the frantically flagging linesman's protestations before nonchalantly wandering over and proceeding to book both players.  The referee did eventually consult the linesman but "didn't really understand what [he] was saying".  Oh, good.

Matson does the honours from the spot.

Justice was done minutes later when a rash challenge in the Pagnell box drew a farcical dive from one of the Boston players.  It was good enough to fool the referee and a penalty was given.  Matson stepped up and duly converted to cap a good performance from the Lincolnshire team.  Turns out that United had a similarly good day up in "Mordor", a Holsgrove winner coming in the 94th minute to give the Pilgrims three points on the first day.

Next up: Boston United play host to Histon at York St.

Pre-Season Part Three - Suddenly, Errors; Thousands of Them!

Boston United vs Lincoln "Red Stars Ultimate Soccer Team" City

Pre-match pleasantries.

Ok, it wasn't quite that bad but the finale to United's decidedly hit and miss pre-season didn't exactly inspire confidence either.  Lincoln City have been rebuilding and were still, no doubt, a little sore that they were playing a friendly this weekend instead of their first competitive league game. Oh well, never mind...  The teams walked out into an atmosphere which was unusually tense for a pre-season match.  United wore the white away kit, I'm still not sure we actually have a home kit, while City emerged in what strongly resembled some sort of horrific old school MLS kit.

Non-league's newest club.

The game started at a reasonable pace but it was soon clear that watching the crowd was going to be more entertaining than the match itself, at least until the Transit travelling elite were inevitably booted out of the ground in a steady stream.  United had their chances early on as the Lincoln 'keeper parried a Joachim belter only for the follow up to be smashed against the bar by Suarez.  Watching the crowd then became essential as, with the Boston Yoof questioning the whereabouts of the aforementioned LTE, it became apparent that they were in fact stood about 10 yards away... in the home end.  With all the "excitement" going on around us we pretty much all missed Lincoln's opener.  I'm reliably informed by someone who was actually watching, that a swiftly taken free-kick by Nutter while Bastock was lining up his wall did for United.

Lincoln were all over United and were two up 15 minutes later.  35 minutes into the game and already Ward wasn't having the best of days as he made a horrible mess of a clearance allowing McCallum to smash the ball past a helpless Bastock.  The sight of Bastock shouting at the defenders was to become a running theme throughout the afternoon.  There was still life left in the Pilgrims yet.  Suarez was hauled down inside the box.  The resultant penalty from Newsham was saved but not well enough to prevent the excellent Milnes from putting in the rebound.  Milnes' subsequent celebration in front of the Lincoln fans has endeared him to me nearly as much as his potential to be a superb replacement for Anthony Church.  With this the first half action, like many of the LTE and the Boston Yoof, melted away.

Newsham showing the penalty taking form that's got United
where they are today... oh, wait.

The second half returned with a bang, Holsgrove through on the 'keeper was denied by a solid block within 10 seconds of the restart.  United, unable to capitalize from the corner spot, then fell foul of yet another defensive error.  A Lincoln break down the wing, a cross swung in and a laughable attempt at a defensive clearance resulted in both a far post tap in for Power and another rise in Bastock's already lofty blood pressure.  Despite this set back the introduction of Fairclough for Canoville was keeping the danger from the Lincoln left-wing largely quiet and enabling United to attack more freely.  The introduction of Parker for the lacklustre Ward, alongside the experience of Austin looked to have shored up the back line too.  A few opportunities went begging before United grasped their chance.  A Holsgrove ball in was nodded into the path of Suarez by Parker and the Spaniard duly hit the net to bring it back to 3-2.

The Pilgrims' back line was still making mistakes and City should have been 4-2 up but for an inexplicable miss from a completely through on goal Sam Smith.  This miss didn't seem to matter too much when, yes you guessed it, yet another defensive mistake allowed Barraclough free space between Bastock and Parker to nod home a well placed cross.  This was the final straw for Bastock who seeming tried to kick the Town End down in a fit of rage.  Newsham topped off a competent, if somewhat pace-less, performance from the attacking players with a last minute dink over the on-rushing 'keeper following a Suarez flick on to keep the deficit to one goal.  The midfield had also looked pretty solid for the most part but the defensive errors will have to go if United are to get anywhere this season.  The acid test will come at Workington next Saturday when the season begins.

Next up: Stuff going all the way to Workington!  My next game is Histon at York St a week on Tuesday.