It's All A Bit Mickey Mouse

England vs Wales and Boston United vs Solihull Moors

Wembley: Theatre of boredom.

I was going to write a blog post about the England - Wales game but it was uninspiring and frankly pretty rubbish so I didn't have the will to do it before the Solihull game rolled around.  This game was also an appalling display of "football" and so I thought "why not dump these two together into one really depressing blog post?"  So now the scene is set here is what happened...

1,700 odd Welsh fans.

England took on Wales at Wembley in the hopes of securing a win and a foot in the door of Euro qualification. Anyone who watched the game will have seen what can only be described as a "professional" showing from an England team who so often lack the creativity needed to excite.  England went 1-0 up through a neat Ashley Young goal but had a lucky escape when Earnshaw missed an open goal from a couple of yards out deep into the second half.  It would be fair to say that the only ones drawing any inspiration from the drab and boring Wembley surroundings were the Welsh players and their meagre 1,700 or so fans.  With the turnout at 77,000 the question surrounding the return of home internationals seems academic, there just isn't the interest from the public.  The evening was marred by the sad death of a Wales fan before the game.

Coincidentally the first leg of England - Wales fell on the same day as Solihull's last league win, against Boston on the 27th of March.  Since then Solihull had gone 17 games without a win, only managing two draws in the process.  Boston have been playing some rubbish football, if you can call it that, recently and also have some sort of psychological issue with playing against teams who wear pink as matches against Nuneaton and Harrogate have shown.  With Solihull's poor run of form it was inevitable that United would mess up the chance to claim three points and that was exactly what happened.

Pink: United's bogey colour.

The York St Mickey Mouse
Show.

The home team started with Stones and Suarez up front while Newsham was pushed onto the wing in place of Holsgrove, so we're going for pace then.  Despite the ponderous front line the Pilgrims started the stronger and with only a few minutes gone it looked like Moors might be on the end of a right drubbing.  There were a couple of chances for Stones but when he did get to the ball his headers were either weak, off-target or saved by the impressive Singh in the Solihull goal.  Suarez was also unable to hit the target and put a difficult chance wide.  That was about it for United.

Solihull came into the game and made the Pilgrims look lacklustre and mediocre at best.  Much like England, Boston suffered from a chronic lack of creativity and there was seemingly no plan B.  As soon as the high ball into the box option had been sussed by the Solihull back-line, United were out of ideas.  Only Moors' profligacy saved Boston's blushes before the break and the home team walked off with boos ringing in their ears.

The second half saw more of the same dull rubbish from United.  This time Solihull were more accurate, Bastock flapped at a cross, the defence failed completely in their attempted clearances and Thompson-Brown slotted home his second chance of the half.  Holsgrove and Milnes were thrown on for Stones and Hall to chase the game but the reaction was toothless.  United had the odd chance, Semple heading on target from a difficult position while Milnes and Holsgrove shot wide, but the Pilgrims scarcely looked like troubling the Solihull defence who deservedly claimed their first points of the season.

Head in hands time for United.

As for United, something needs to change and fast; this game saw the first instance I've seen of fans calling for the managers to resign.  The attendance was 1,117 and with performances and results like that it won't stay above 1,000 for long so things really need to pick-up and quick.  Any pace up front, even if it came from the right back Jordan Fairclough, would be appreciated as a back-up plan at the very least.  At the moment the United game-plan is very, very predictable.

Next up: Boston United vs Hinckley at York St.

All's well that ends well... sort of.

England vs Switzerland

It's Wembley, it's Saturday, it's 4.45?! It's football time!

So the first England game on a Saturday afternoon at Wembley for ages, nice 3pm kick off then?  No, not at all. The Derby at Epsom (or something) was this weekend so kick-off was moved to the obvious time slot of quarter to five.  Right...  Despite the odd kick-off time there was a good turn out for this fairly important qualifier.  With Montenegro taking on Bulgaria later on the Saturday night, England needed a result to keep control of the group.  Thankfully in search of this both Rooney and Gareth "inanimate carbon rod" Barry were missing through suspension and being colossally crap respectively.

The Swiss pressure England

England started with a flourish they were unable to continue as Glen Johnson did well to meet a corner, only to see the Swiss shot stopper keep it out.  The Swiss were finding acres of space inside the English half and were trying their hardest to punish the Three Lions.  Derdiyok, Inler and Shaqiri all tested Hart before England could muster a response which, again, came from a corner.  Ferdinand burst past his marker to flick the ball narrowly over the bar.  This was only a flash in the pan though as the Swiss capitalized on their superb pressure.  England conceded a free-kick on the edge of the box and then demonstrated a shocking inability to defend set pieces.  Barnetta swang the ball over the helpless Ferdinand, past a statuesque Hart and into the far corner.  Three minutes later, another free-kick, more defensive ineptitude and another goal.  It was Barnetta again and this time the cross was aimed at the near post.  Hart may as well have been asleep as all he could manage was to force the ball over the line after it flashed through a paper-like wall.

Barnetta celebrates his second first goal.

2-0 down with half an hour gone and all the entertainment was coming from the Swiss.  If they were to get anything from this England were going to have to pull something out of the bag soon.  In the end they didn't need to, Djourou did it for them.  Demonstrating the sort of defending that has endeared him to the Arsenal faithful he put in what could be loosely called a challenge on Wilshere, conceded a penalty and was lucky not to be sent off.  Lampard duly put the ball away and gave England a half-time life-line.  Life-line or not Wembley was not impressed and the players were washed off the playing surface by a tide of boos.

England get back in the game. Thanks, Djourou.

Capello responded by taking off the goal scorer in favour of Ashley Young, who'd strangely lost out on a starting wing place to Walcott and Milner.  The questions over Young's omission were amplified when, within six minutes, Baines played in Young for the Villa front man to finish neatly into the far corner.  At 2-2, with a better balance, England took charge.  Bent first had a good shot saved and then made a miss which defies any description; the word "shocking" doesn't quite cover it.  Imagine finding out that you've somehow, miraculously, managed to pull Cheryl Cole, Kelly Brook and Scarlett Johansson; whilst simultaneously finding out that you've become a multi-billionaire and being struck by lightening for the third time in minute.  That goes some way to describing how shocking this miss was.

A corner with two minutes left? Time to leave...

Capello will have mixed feelings about Young nearly grabbing the winner, it would be a boost to win but it would have made him look more of a tit than he already does for leaving Young out in the first place.  In the dying minutes both sides could have won it.  Mehmedi managed to beat Joe Hart but not the post for the Swiss.  At the other end Downing did what Downing does, fail in every possible way.  With the last kick of the game he, sadly unsurprisingly, failed to get anything meaningful on a shot which dribbled into the side netting.  Much like the rest of my season, close but no cigar.  It shows just how far England have fallen that the Swiss press are baying for the blood of their manager for failing to win from 2-0 up.  Not only that but England were forced to change their system to deal with the Swiss pressure and we were relying on Bulgaria to help us out, which they did; thanks.

So that's the end of my season.  65 games, 24 new grounds, a whole lot of goals and a hell of a lot of rail travel.  Was it worth it?  Course it was!

See you in pre-season.

Easy

Wales vs England

Firstly a bit of pre-amble... It's been a busy week at Boston United.  Shortly after the Harrogate game last week it became apparent that Rotherham had sacked their manager.  Inevitably the rumour mill started turning adding to the fears that the managers would leave.  Rob Scott had previously denied all links with Grimsby but the Rotherham job was bigger and at Scott and Hurst's footballing home no less.  The news broke on Monday morning.  No, not Rotherham... Grimsby.  Flipping GRIMSBY!  Rob Scott seemingly not fussed about lying to the Boston fans had, along with Hurst, been informed of an approach by United chairman David Newton.

Newton advised the managers that they'd be allowed to talk to Grimsby if they would agree to some conditions which would cover the Pilgrims financially for the remainder of the season.  Rob Scott threw a hissy fit worthy of any toddler and promptly resigned taking Hurst with him with only seven games left in the season.  Since then, the now ex-managers have signed up to lead a team who are, frankly, not going anywhere this year.  In fact there is a chance that they may be playing Boston next year.

The waters are muddied even further by the fact that Scott and Hurst have no legitimate way of releasing themselves from their contracts and are, as such, still Boston managers.  Hurst is still registered as a player at York St!  Grimsby are adamant that Boston and Newton don't have a leg to stand on over compensation but I'd back Newton to rinse the Codheads for all they're worth over this.

Newton had to find some managers to take up the reigns before the crunch game at Solihull on Saturday.  He plumped for on-again, off-again Boston striker Jason Lee and club captain Lee Canoville.  I would imagine that this is only to the end of the season and is probably another wise decision from the chairman.  These two know the club and the team and probably won't change too much.  Their first decision came with the news that Haystead could be out for the rest of the season.  This prompted the return of 40 year old, club legend and record appearance holder, Paul Bastock.  Good luck, guys!

So the Solihull game was looking even more important now but, having not known this several months ago, I'd made other plans.  So it was that I found myself speeding through a misty English countryside on Saturday morning bound for another country.  A strange foreign land, with odd customs and an even more odd affinity for all things woolly.  Arriving in Cardiff it was clear that a party atmosphere was building as England fans milled around the crowded streets and bars.  Table football and super-expensive beer accompanied the highlights of encounters past in the England village.

The teams come out.

Miss Wales sings the anthems.

It was soon time to make the trip through the streets of Cardiff to the Millennium Stadium.  The ground started to fill up before kick-off and eventually almost 69,000 people crowded into the stadium.  The English national anthem was met with an inevitable wall of boo's, incidentally this was the most noise the Welsh made all day, whilst the Welsh anthem was greeted with a shower of inflatable sheep.  The match kicked off and within minutes the small number of Welsh fans having a party near the away end were silenced.  Frank Lampard's penalty conversion on seven minutes followed minutes later by a great Darren Bent conversion, after some good work by Glen Johnson and Ashley Young, effectively ended the game.

With some Wales fans calling it a day and making their way to the exits after only 20 minutes, the match descended into a training exercise for England.  The Welsh team were awful and none of the players seemed to want the ball.  England on the other hand were confident and with a bit more application could have scored several more.

Lampard scores the penalty.

With the lack of competition and the near silence from the Welsh fans it was difficult for the English to get any sort of atmosphere going, particularly in the second half.  The atmosphere amongst the group of Boston Boys at the game was probably lower than average with the news of England's heavy defeat in the 2011 Cricket World Cup being compounded by reports of a missed Weir-Daley penalty and a 1-0 loss at Solihull.  The rest of the EURO 2012 qualifier was played out calmly.  Wales had one or two chances but weren't able to capitalize due to a serious lack of quality all over the pitch.

England fans applaud the players.

Standing in the ridiculously poorly organized queues at Cardiff Central Station for an hour or so, there was time to mull over the game as England's qualifying campaign rolls on.  England's was a competent performance, you can only beat what's in front of you after all.  Wales on the other hand have some serious rebuilding to do to get anywhere near to being competitive in this competition.  Post match reaction from Solihull seemed to indicate that the Pilgrims were the better team and probably should have got something.  So, some consolation for the trip home.  It wasn't the worst day by a long stretch but it definitely wasn't the best either.

Next up: England take on Ghana at Wembley in a friendly.

Amazing view, mate; amazing...

England vs Montenegro

There isn't much to say about the actual game.  This is mostly because nothing actually happened.  I haven't been that bored or yawned that many times during a game of football, EVER!  Montenegro hit the bar and the referee missed a handball but that's pretty much it.  The most entertaining event during the evening was the half-time penalty shoot-out between referees and coaches with "England's number one and Arsenal keeper", Karen Bardsley in goal; a few issues with that...  Karen Bardsley is a coach for San Diego in the U.S. not an Arsenal player, that and Rachel Brown is the England Ladies number one.  You'd think the Wembley pitch announcer would be better briefed than that.  Apparently, you'd be wrong.  The shoot-out was a draw (what a surprise) but did produce some wonderful robot dancing from a member of the British Airways cabin crew who masquerades as a referee on the weekends.  The referees got the inevitable stick, which brings me neatly onto my next point...

The fans sat around me and their views on the game.  Apparently England were brilliant, the ref was rubbish and the Montenegrin team was terrible.  Oh and the view was "amazing, mate; amazing".  The amount of rubbish spouting from the mouths of a couple of mockney fans behind me was amazing, it was almost like wading waist deep through the sewers of London the morning after national curry day.  Wonderful tactical insight was in abundance with such choice phrases as "basically what we need, right; is a goal, right" and "can't you kick a ball, Young, you retard" sandwiched between bellowed cries of "COME ON, ENGLAND".  It was ok though because "[he] loves [his] football, right; but this is s***".  The criticism of the referee was particularly brilliant.  When the ref misses an off the ball incident (Crouch head-butting one of their players for example) nothing is said but then when he doesn't book one of their players for being scything down by one of our lads he is clearly an idiot.  This was only reinforced when he had the audacity to actually book Ashley Young for a dive worthy of the Commonwealth Games.  It's not like the referee should actually be following some set of rules or something, is it?

The Montenegrin fans having fun.

Did I mention the view?  Amazing, mate; amazing.  You could really see the Montenegrin fans who were out-singing the home support.  Yes that's right; tough as it might be to understand how the fans of the country, who's population could be fully seated in seven Wembley Stadiums, out-sang us mighty England fans and our not-at-all-irritating band quite easily.  Fair play to them, at least someone enjoyed it...

Euro. 2012 here we come (hopefully)

England vs Bulgaria

Ah International football is back.  The Euro. 2012 qualifiers are underway which means the London Olympics are just a couple of years away.  Best get cracking on those preparations, eh?  Wembley is a wonderful place to watch football if you like sitting down and paying extortionately for the privilege.  You do get some free Nivea for men moisturiser samples on the way in so I suppose it isn't all bad.  They have sorted the pitch out now by making it partially artificial.  Good enough for Internationals but definitely not for the Football Conference, just ask Durham.  Now the pitch is partly artificial will the Conference be changing the play-off final venue?  No?  Didn't think so.


England are in a reasonably tough group for the qualifiers or so Capello keep saying but realistically we should be able to come top in a group comprised of Bulgaria, Switzerland, Montenegro and Wales.  That said we should probably have come top in a group made up of Algeria, Slovenia and the U.S.A. so let's not count the chickens just yet.

Defoe celebrates his second.

Anyway, on to the game.  England dominated for the most part and were in a fairly comfortable position when Defoe put us one up inside the first five minutes.  Most games see each team have a spell of attacking but this wasn't the case as Bulgaria struggled to get into the match in any sort of competitive sense.  In the second half Defoe bagged two more and claimed the man of the match award which on any other day James Milner would have run off with by a country mile.  Milner caused the Bulgarian defence massive problems and eventually caused the right-back to be subbed in order to avoid a red card.


The defence were pretty solid with the exception of one Dawson mistake.  Cahill replaced Dawson after his injury and did a decent job.  The injury to Dawson did highlight one problem at Wembley, segregation.  For an International qualifier the standard of segregation was shocking.  There were a lot of Bulgarian fans intermingled with the England fans throughout the stadium and this caused issues when the Bulgarians took to booing the stricken Dawson winding the England fans up in the process.  Poor stewarding and crowd control that.

Milner lines up a free-kick.

Wayne Rooney continued to be woeful, despite having a hand in the goals, mis-controlling the ball and misplacing passes continuously.  It was almost like he had something else on his mind.  Surely it is time to drop Rooney who hasn't scored for England in over a year now in favour of someone like Zamora who, when fit, will bring something different to the line-up.  A bit of time out might help Rooney regain some of the passion for the game which was evidently missing this time out.


Adam Johnson proved why he should be in the squad with a belting finish to make it four and to get England's qualifying campaign off to a good start before we face Switzerland on Tuesday in Basel.  Not that half the fans will have seen it as the stadium always starts to empty about ten minutes before the end.  I assume these are the same people who leave early for half time as well.  Missing quarter of an hour of a game you have paid over thirty pounds to see seems a little stupid to me, but then what do I know?  

The train to London, not exactly packed.

The train out of Wembley was a bit of a debacle.  On reaching the platform we were unable to get onto the train as it was rammed.  At least it was rammed at the end available to us.  The stewards had decided that the other end of the train, with seats available, was at capacity and wouldn't let anyone else on.  This ridiculous situation was exacerbated when the next train pulled in and no-one got on.  The train was practically empty, the few people on the second train could have easily got on the first train and been into London a good fifteen minutes earlier.  Well done, jobsworth stewards, you'll have to do much better than that at the Olympics!