Paul Bastock, what a legend!

St Albans City vs Ebbsfleet United

Welcome to Clarence Park.

Week two of no games for Boston.  Week two of finding a relatively local game.  Week two of a lie-in on Saturday morning, I could get used to this.  This weeks chosen game was a B.S.B. Conference South game at Clarence Park.  I'd lived five miles from the home of St Albans for three years and only now I've moved away do I bother going.  I had attempted the trip once on a cold Tuesday night but my trip was scuppered by a bus strike.  Bloody typical.  This time, however, I did make it to the ground as the trains proved a mite more reliable than the bus service.

Clarence Park looks fairly foreboding from the outside and the inside isn't much better.  The ground has all the makings of classic non-league - it could do with a tidy up in other words.  Eleven pounds entry is a little steep for a struggling side in a shabby ground and might go some way to explaining why attendances hover around the 350 mark; a little low for a city.  The journey through the turnstiles and up the steps to the top of the terrace makes it feel like entering an amphitheater, terraces surround three sides of the ground with a raised seating section running along the dug-out side of the pitch.  There is a small amount of covering over the terrace straddling the half-way line.  The terracing is heavily populated by grass growing through it and enclosed by a large tin wall.

The terrace has seen better days.

There is a supporters bar which sits above the seated section and can be accessed by leaving the ground through a back entrance - make sure to keep your ticket to get back in!  The bar furnishing matches much of the rest of the ground.  That said the real quality of a bar can only be judged by it's beer and this was excellent; an offering of local, micro-brewed ale goes a long way.  The bar was almost entirely populated by 'Fleet fans and there was a feeling that this would be the Saints greatest attendance of the season so far - this turned out to be correct with 472 in attendance.  I ended up discussing the problems of St Albans with a Geordie called Dave who encouraged people to support the team of the town in which they were born.  This seemed a little odd at first until he explained he was a Geordie fan and was only at Clarence Park to report back to his university bound son who'd been born in St Albans.

Bazza: Legend.  Fact.

Dave informed me that the Saints had been struggling at the back, in the midfield and going forwards.  The only options up front were two big men who had all the skill of Danny Davidson but none of the luck.  In fact the only two good players were the left back and the legend that is Paul Bastock.  Bazza was voted Boston's all time greatest player having made 625 appearances for us.  Great goalkeeper.

The fears about the rest of the team seemed well founded when sixth place Ebbsfleet dominated the game straight from kick-off.  Ebbsfleet were eleven games undefeated and St Albans didn't look like challenging this run.  It took 18 minutes for the away side to break through as a Callum Willock shot deflected over Bazza.  The Saints were seeing plenty of the ball but they went long every time and seemed to struggle at winning the knock-downs.  'Fleet were the only team looking likely until the Saints finally managed to get hold of one of the long balls and Inih Effiong slotted home for a frankly undeserved equalizer.  Ten minutes later Ebbsfleet were back in front as Tom Phipp headed home from a corner to end the half.

The travelling 'Fleet support.

The second period followed a similar pattern of play.  Ebbsfleet dominated completely, creating several chances which they were unable to convert.  St Albans really struggled to get any of the ball and only managed one chance of note late on.  A team on better form would have run out winners by a five or six goal margin, 'Fleet had to settle for the one.  St Albans are going to have to improve dramatically to pull themselves out of trouble at the bottom of the table because - as Geordie Dave pointed out - a relegation may just kill a club struggling for attendances as things stand already.

Next up: Boston United attempt to go back to the top of the B.S.B. Conference North away at Blyth Spartans.

N.B.: Boston do play away at Guiseley on Tuesday but I can't go to that one.  You can follow the game on the excellent United Live service.

Plane sailing

Cranfield United vs Hoddesdon Town

The mighty Pilgrims are out of action this FA Cup weekend, due to a not so mighty performance in the second qualifying round.  As such we all had to find our own entertainment.  My choice was a short trip to strugglers Cranfield United to see them take on sixth place Hoddesdon Town in a Molten Spartan South Midlands League Division One Clash, that's step six in case you're wondering.  Cranfield United play their games at Crawley Road.  Appropriately for the league the ground is fairly spartan, there is a covered stand down one side which houses some lovely seats and a lean-to sheltering the tea hatch.  The ground is located at the end of an airport so if you get bored of the football you can always watch the planes take off and land.

The club house at Crawley Road is something to behold.  Well furnished and very tidy, with Sky T.V. and windows with a great view looking out over one end of the pitch.  Yes the beer isn't brilliant and yes it's a little expensive at £2.70 for a pint of Fosters but it has to be one of the best club houses I have visited in recent years.  The programmes are £3 for a largely black and white offering, this is offset by free entry though so what more could one want?

The teams line-up.

Those boots don't make you
any better son...

Cranfield have only managed two wins from seventeen coming into this game, both at Crawley Road.  This looks like an easy win for Hoddesdon then?  No.  Hoddesdon have been on a shocking run and currently sit below the Cranes in the form table having taken only five points from the last six games.  Hoddesdon started the better and pushed Cranfield back; even when United did manage to exert some pressure Hoddesdon broke well.  One of these breaks lead to the first major incident.  The ball was launched over the top for a (possibly offside) Town player to run on to.  The keeper made a right hash of the clearance, handling the ball well outside the box and injuring himself in the process; before a defender managed to clear.  The referee refused to give either decision and after a lengthy stoppage to treat the keeper play continued.  Hoddesdon belted the crossbar from 35 yards with a terrific effort.  Moments later another 30 yard shot was lashed wide.  Town's players certainly weren't shy of shooting from distance and this was having a telling effect on the Cranfield manager who was smoking like a chimney in his technical area.  Add in the odd booking and that was pretty much the half.

Town's managers,
like mini Scott and Hurst.

Cranfield flew out of the blocks after the break playing some wonderful football against the clearly more technically gifted Town.  In spite of all their good work it was Hoddesdon who were creating the chances, forcing the United keeper into making three great saves in succession.  Cranfield responded well and could've put themselves in front from a set piece but their striker just couldn't connect.

Minutes later Cranfield did go into the lead in bizarre circumstances.  The ball was thrown into the box for a United striker to scramble it home but the flag was raised.  The referee consulted the assistant who'd raised the flag and after a conference decided the ball had come off a Hoddesdon player.  No offside; the goal was given.  1-0 to Cranfield.  It could have been two but a United shot was blocked on the edge of the box as the 30-ish in attendance sheltered from a heavy autumnal squall.

Hoddesdon heads dropped following the goal and they struggled to create chances.  Cranfield were easily on top until a spate of bookings for time-wasting and bad challenges resulted in a United player getting his marching orders for a second yellow.  This lifted Town who had multiple chances from a set piece as the ball pinged about in the Cranfield area before being poked out; Cranfield were lucky to survive but it didn't last for long as a good volley found the back of the net from the resulting corner.

Cranfield apply some pressure.

Town were flying and were unlucky not to pull off a spectacular come back.  A poor back-pass put the 'keeper in trouble which he compounded by clearing to a Town striker ten yards out.  Unfortunately for Town the striker fluffed his lines and rolled it back to the grateful keeper.  Town had one last chance to grab the win as the ball bounced around in the Cranfield box before a Hoddesdon player handled on the line.  1-1 and full-time in a very exciting and entertaining game.

Next-up: still no Pilgrims action so it's St Albans City vs Ebbsfleet United in the Conference South - probably.

The Sherpa-Van, Tampax entertainment league: Non-league 1, Internationals 0.

Boston United vs Stalybridge Celtic

Well, how entertaining was that?!  Mind you, compared to last weeks torrid England performance anything would have been better.  This game was genuinely exciting; full-time Stalybridge started the afternoon in 11th place in the league 9 places below 2nd spot Boston.  Boston made one change, bringing in Jamie Yates in a straight swap for Ryan Semple.

Stalybridge started well and looked to be pushing United back.  There were good chances for both sides but neither were able to convert as the defences remained strong.  Stalybridge had a good chance from a corner but this only seemed to stir United into action.  Following a sluggish start the Pilgrims began to match their opponents and forced the Celtic 'keeper, Jan Budtz, in to making one or two shaky saves.  The keeper was looking a little nervous and cost his team a goal five minutes before half-time when he ran out of his area, towards the corner to collect a long-ball from Shaun Pearson.  Jamie Yates closed down well and dispossessed the under pressure 'keeper leaving him free to run unopposed into the box and slot home from close range.  The half came to a close on a sour note when the increasingly random referee booked Newsham for making a challenge in which he won all of the ball and took none of the man.  This was an especially harsh yellow when the behaviour of the Stalybridge number eight is taken into account.  The bad tackles and back-chat from this lad should have seen him walk in the first half.

United defend early pressure from Celtic.

The Celtic 'keepers nightmare continued after the break with misplaced clearances, dodgy kicks and spilled crosses all adding to his shocking performance.  Unfortunately the Pilgrims couldn't take advantage of these chances despite being completely dominant for large spells.  Ryan Semple replaced Yates.  Lee, Pearson and Church all failed to convert good chances from the massive amount of corners which Semple was tasked with delivering.  United should have had at least two penalties during the course of the second period but it seems like we couldn't buy a spot-kick this season having not had one compared to Celtic's five converted so far!  

It looked like United were going to pay for all these misses when Celtic dragged a shot wide, only for it to be turned onto the back post by a sliding Stalybridge player.  This signalled a change in the flow of the game as Stalybridge dominated possession in the closing stages.  The United defence was strong with Murphy and Pearson both playing fantastically well to shut Celtic out.  The referee had one last chance to embarrass himself in front of 1,602 people when he gave Newsham a second yellow card for "time-wasting" whilst taking a throw in.  I get tired of saying this every other week but: Alexander Harvey you are a complete joke, NEVER REF AGAIN!

Stalybridge fans: vocal throughout.

There was no-way through for Stalybridge during stoppage time, even with an extra player and Boston held on for a 1-0 win.  Alfreton could only draw at AFC Telford meaning the Pilgrims will be top of the league for at least two weeks.  Let's keep it like that; eh, lads?!  There was one last sour note for Stalybridge.  One jobs-worth police officer decided to "talk to" one of their fans while he was leaving the ground and then arrested him, apparently for use of foul language during the game, much to the surprise of other fans and stewards alike.  This lack of common sense is appalling and I really hope no further action is taken against him.  People get a little over the top at football sometimes but it's no reason to arrest them!  It's a shame when police officers single people out because they're bored and just want something to do, it spoils both the game and the reputation of the club.

That's it for Boston United this October.  Due to being out of the FA Cup and Ilkeston having been wound up the next United game is Blyth Spartans away on the 6th of November; the next game at York St for the Pilgrims first team is on Tuesday the 9th of November against Scotland Corby.

Next up: Cranfield United at home to Hoddesdon Town in the Molten Spartan South Midlands Football League Division One.

Amazing view, mate; amazing...

England vs Montenegro

There isn't much to say about the actual game.  This is mostly because nothing actually happened.  I haven't been that bored or yawned that many times during a game of football, EVER!  Montenegro hit the bar and the referee missed a handball but that's pretty much it.  The most entertaining event during the evening was the half-time penalty shoot-out between referees and coaches with "England's number one and Arsenal keeper", Karen Bardsley in goal; a few issues with that...  Karen Bardsley is a coach for San Diego in the U.S. not an Arsenal player, that and Rachel Brown is the England Ladies number one.  You'd think the Wembley pitch announcer would be better briefed than that.  Apparently, you'd be wrong.  The shoot-out was a draw (what a surprise) but did produce some wonderful robot dancing from a member of the British Airways cabin crew who masquerades as a referee on the weekends.  The referees got the inevitable stick, which brings me neatly onto my next point...

The fans sat around me and their views on the game.  Apparently England were brilliant, the ref was rubbish and the Montenegrin team was terrible.  Oh and the view was "amazing, mate; amazing".  The amount of rubbish spouting from the mouths of a couple of mockney fans behind me was amazing, it was almost like wading waist deep through the sewers of London the morning after national curry day.  Wonderful tactical insight was in abundance with such choice phrases as "basically what we need, right; is a goal, right" and "can't you kick a ball, Young, you retard" sandwiched between bellowed cries of "COME ON, ENGLAND".  It was ok though because "[he] loves [his] football, right; but this is s***".  The criticism of the referee was particularly brilliant.  When the ref misses an off the ball incident (Crouch head-butting one of their players for example) nothing is said but then when he doesn't book one of their players for being scything down by one of our lads he is clearly an idiot.  This was only reinforced when he had the audacity to actually book Ashley Young for a dive worthy of the Commonwealth Games.  It's not like the referee should actually be following some set of rules or something, is it?

The Montenegrin fans having fun.

Did I mention the view?  Amazing, mate; amazing.  You could really see the Montenegrin fans who were out-singing the home support.  Yes that's right; tough as it might be to understand how the fans of the country, who's population could be fully seated in seven Wembley Stadiums, out-sang us mighty England fans and our not-at-all-irritating band quite easily.  Fair play to them, at least someone enjoyed it...

A good Hyde-ing... (sorry)

Hyde F.C. vs Boston United

Last time Boston made the trip to Hyde things we're a bit different.  The ground was red not blue for starters; there weren't Manchester City badges plastered everywhere either and Hyde were called Hyde United as well.  Last time there was a wonderful lines-woman who hadn't a clue and disallowed four goals, three for us and one for them, all for offside and mostly incorrectly; we lost 2-1.  Boston now have a team that actually give a crap which is a huge change from last time.  One thing that hasn't changed is the lack of chips at Ewen Fields.

Then...

Now.

Is this the way to Ewen Fields...

I didn't get the opportunity to sample the offerings of the clubhouse as my first choice train was cancelled due to the driver being held up by a bull on the line at Stalybridge, bloody public transport.  This meant that I had to get the next train and fight through the undergrowth to arrive a quarter of an hour before kick-off.  The vocal Pilgrims took station behind one of the goals near the 'scratter shed' as it was dubbed on our previous visit.  Hurst and Scott moved Newsham to the wing and started Spencer Weir-Daley instead of the displaced Jamie Yates.  Fears of a Vauxhall Motors repeat were quickly vanquished as the bowling green like surface played into the Pilgrims hands.  Boston started well and worked some good shooting positions resulting in a few tame shots which the Hyde keeper dealt with easily.  The pressure started to mount and the ball was in the back of the net before long.  It was offside, surprise surprise.  40 minutes in and Newsham broke the deadlock, "tapping home" a Weir-Daley through ball from ten yards.  It was the breakthrough that Boston's football deserved.  Hyde came back at United and searched for the equaliser but Boston went in at the break 1-0 up.

The 'scratter shed'.

The toilet break at half-time was harrowing at best; dark, dingy and an unidentified brown substance smeared over the wall.  Non-league, it's not for the feint hearted!  Putting that horrific experience out of my mind I went to get some food.  Hyde may not serve chips but their burgers are superb, I have to say I haven't had many better at a football ground and it's a vast improvement on the uncooked hot-dog from Vauxhall.  Relocating to the other end for the second half (a benefit of no segregation) emphasised how good Hyde's ground actually is.  Nicely covered terraces at either end and down one side with a large seated stand on the opposite side surround a well laid pitch.

This is how it feels to be City...

Hyde continued to come at Boston in the second half and McKeown made a fantastic save to keep them out.  The Pilgrims were still playing some beautiful stuff, prompting cries of 'ole' at every completed pass.  This was rewarded when Sleath carved through the stricken home defence leaving overweight, fridge-freezer resembling, defenders in his wake to play Weir-Daley in for a tap in.  Boston had a few more chances and managed to make it three in injury time as Sleath got a well deserved goal to cap a brilliant performance from both him and United as a whole.

Well done to the lads, as we keep up the pressure on Alfreton at the top of the table.  One other, worthy of note, was the referee and his linesmen.  I, like others, am quick to criticise but this guy was brilliant throughout.  Well done, Mr A. Holmes.  This game was a massive bonus in that it showed we can play nice football with a big man up top and Jason Lee had another cracking game.  Overall the lads were solid at the back, dominating in midfield, showed some great wide play and have got back into the habit of finishing.  Fantastic.

Next up: England continue their Euro 2012 qualifying campaign in group G against Montenegro at Wembley.

He's got a pineapple, on his head...

Vauxhall Motors vs Boston United

Welcome to Rivacre Park...

Vauxhall Motors away.  The trip to Elsmere Port is about as appealing as a night of passion with Ann Widdecombe; it's long, unfulfilling and leaves you feeling like you need a shower - not that I'd know, obviously.  As it's a right pain to get to on the train I left the Shire on the supporters coach at the crack of dawn (well 9 a.m. but you get the idea).  Half way there we met the team bus and the managers assured a few fans bold enough to inquire that they would not be going to Linscum regardless of what the bookies might say.  Good news, unless they're lying of course...

Tree monster: because kids love tree monsters, right?

On arrival at Rivacre Park we were greeted by an evil, flat-cap sporting, tree monster which is apparently for children to play on/in.  No wonder Scouse kids are so messed up.  The club house is fairly pleasant even if there is a distinct lack of proper beer and they do try to short change you.  Before the main event we were treated to the wonders of the Premier League (© Sky, 1992) and a glamour tie between Wigan and Wolverhampton piped in on some hookie, foreign, Sky-wannabe channel; what else would you expect from the Scousers.  Seriously, how can we resist games of this magnitude?  Perhaps the mocking would have been tempered if we'd realised the full horror that a Vauxhall Motors game can produce.

Jason Lee minus his pineapple.

The ground is tidy but that isn't difficult when there is so little of it to maintain.  The pitch is good as well, surprising as all the recent rain would've given Noah and his ark a tough time staying afloat.  Boston put out the usual league team with the only changes being Newsham and new, old signing Jason Lee starting up front. Yes you read that right, Jason 'used to have a pineapple on his head' Lee.  We signed him midweek.  Presumably the thought of having to play two regular sized players and some nice football was too much for the managers and they had to buy a replacement for our two, injured big-men.  Don't get me wrong Lee played really well; he did everything Davidson doesn't, winning headers, holding the ball up, organising from the front, in fact the only thing he didn't do as well as Davidson was score.  That will come though and whilst his impressive performance was a massive positive, it was also a massive negative.  With a big man in the team Boston seem to stop playing football, stop running at defenders and just tan the ball in his general direction in the hope that he'll win the game on his own without giving away too many fouls in the process.

The game started out fairly evenly in front of the 227 supporters with both teams having goals ruled out, theirs for handball and ours for an offside or for a foul depending on which report you read.  Judging by the performance of the linesman throughout the game, our goal may or may not have actually been offside or a foul, who knows?  He certainly didn't and we, on the terrace, had no idea what he'd given.  Boston started to play a little better and probably should've scored when both Yates and Newsham spurned wonderful opportunities.

This has been cooked, right?

Half time held yet more woes for the travelling supporters, well those that hadn't eaten anyway.  The food on offering was dire, no burgers, a wait for chips and hot-dogs that looked as though they had been through at least one person already and hadn't been cooked since.  There wasn't much more to get excited about in the second half either.  Both sides had chances with Motors hitting the bar.  Boston created a few good opportunities through Weir-Daley, who replaced Newsham; Semple and Sleath.  The Pilgrims really should've scored from at least one of these chances and only some good goal keeping kept us out.  The number of corners also racked up but they mostly didn't beat the first man and Boston couldn't capitalise on the threat posed by Lee and Pearson at set pieces.  The Pilgrims should have had a penalty when the referee missed two hand-balls and a Vauxhall player trying to dispossess one of our lads of his shirt.  The twelve year old ref, Ben Toner, apparently didn't see any of this, maybe he was distracted by the though of the scary tree monster in the play area coming to get him.  That might explain why he was so woeful throughout.

Important information when in the Liverpool area.

So the game ended 0-0, it's a hell of a long way to go for a bore-draw and the feeling on the day was summed up nicely by my friend over at 'More in Hope than Expectation', asking how it could be more different to the day out at Alfreton a mere two weeks before.  I think it was all the missed chances and terrible refereeing but I left the ground feeling as though we'd lost.  On the up-side the teams around us largely failed to capitalise and so the Pilgrims maintain second spot.

Next up: Boston travel to Hyde in a rearranged league fixture.  I wonder if they've realised crisps and chips aren't the same thing since our last visit...

Disappointing

Boston United vs Worcester City (FA Cup)

"Disappointment: (noun) The emotion felt when a strongly held expectation is not met"

Well, that was disappointing.  I've not been that disappointed since the day which shall not be mentioned at Marine.  The FA cup is really important to the managers, or so they say.  That must be why they made four changes to a winning team for the start of this match at York St.  Semple, Sleath and Weir-Daley were all dropped for Davies; Cullingworth and Jesus himself, Marc Newsham.  The other change was enforced by Peterborough who insisted that on loan 'keeper McKeown not be cup tied meaning a start for Butcher.

Early controversy abounded when the Worcester front-man Danks flew through Pearson in what some people call a 'red-card challenge'.  I've seen people sent-off for less but it would probably have been harsh and the Yellow was about right.  The 1352 at York St probably realised it was going to be one of those days about 15 minutes in the very same Danks curled the ball into the top corner from 25 yards.  I don't care what you think of Butcher; there was no way he was getting to that!  A smattering of applause from the Pilgrims support added to the jubilation of the Worcester faithful.  Five minutes later the Boston defence backed off and allowed a shot to come in; McKeown would've dealt with it easily, the much maligned Butcher didn't.  The ball squirmed past some weak goalkeeping into the bottom corner.  2-0 and we were in trouble.

'What are you DOING, Butcher?'  - a common call around York St. when he plays.

The team just wasn't gelling.  Davies in the middle looked ponderous and seemed to have the turning circle of a large oil-tanker.  This left Church to do all the running and with consequence Worcester were bossing the game and almost creating chances at will.  With a lack of service from midfield any chances that did present themselves for Boston were created by the genius of Newsham.  Newsh played some brilliant flicks and passes to get Davidson into the game.  Unfortunately Davidson was back to his usual self and a golden chance was spurned following a great save from the City 'keeper.  Danny injured himself in the challenge for the ball and was replaced by Spencer Weir-Daley.

Davidson's injury: the start of the Pilgrims comeback.

Ryan Semple came on after the break and Boston picked up a little making the odd chance or so.  The persistence was rewarded when the Worcester 'keeper tried to be clever by shielding the ball past Newsham and out of play.  The Newsh confirmed his deserved man of the match award when he duly punished the 'keeper's impertinence by nicking the ball and slotting home from a tight angle.  Sleath was brought on just after this to reunite the full first team, other than McKeown.  Boston looked much, much better despite the ridiculous linesman who appeared to have flag-Tourette's, randomly flagging for offside or a foul when nothing had happened.  Boston were absolutely battering City and it should've been two when Weir-Daley missed a brilliant chance at the back post.  Moments later it was two as Yates got on the end of a cross to stab home.  The Pilgrims even played some of the second half with ten men as Pearson was off the pitch having a head wound treated.

Commitment: Pearson back on the pitch after a lengthy treatment to his head.

The momentum was well and truly with the Pilgrims and there was a feeling around the ground that we'd go on to win this now.  This was almost the case but Weir-Daley missed yet another sitter at the back post - very unlike him.  So 2-2 and a replay, not that bad I suppose.  That's what I would've been saying if the game had finished in the 88th minute.  Last minute of normal time and Tom Thorely went clean through on goal for Worcester until last-man Jelleyman rugby tackled him.  So a red card then?  No.  I don't know how the ref. got that wrong but he did.  That was the most stonewall sending off you will ever see.  Just about sums up the official's day really.  Even though Jelleyman was lucky to remain on the pitch City still had a free kick in a good position.  The people around me had a bad feeling about this set-piece and they were not wrong.  The free-kick rebounded out to Glover who hit the inside of the post with a scuffed shot.  Butcher just stood there and watched the ball roll along the line and in.  Terrible 'keeping; NEVER PLAY FOR US AGAIN, BUTCHER!

So it finished: 3-2 and the Worcester fans and team were celebrating like they'd won the cup.  No hard feelings towards them, they may have put in a few hard tackles but they won the game thanks to a weakened, first-half Boston team and some woeful goalkeeping from Butcher: think 'Almunia with far more mistakes' and you won't be far off.  I was talking to one of their fans in the pub after the game and I can do no more than wish them the best of luck for the next round and the coming season - except against us of course!

I am, it has to be said, not impressed.  We always seem to perform badly in the FA competitions.  Add this loss to the defeats at Lowestoft and Quorn last year and the poor record starts to add up.  Whilst we are doing well in the league we really do need the money from a good cup run.  The other point brought to the fore by this game is the lack of strength in depth of our squad.  Heaven forbid we get a midfield injury and have to rely on Davies, we'd finish in the relegation zone if that were to happen!

Next up: the Pilgrims return to league action away at Vauxhall Motors.